For the countless fans still bummed about James Cameron's decision to axe the much-ballyhooed Na'vi sex scene from "Avatar," fear not. Kool-Aid Man is coming to the rescue!

The bulbous icon with the unforgettable perma-smile will be getting frisky with our beloved forest queen Neytiri tonight in "Second Life" while a crowd of voyeuristic hipsters at East Village art gallery La MaMa and others worldwide look on.

The man behind the jolly pitcher is Montreal-based Net art guru Jon Rafman, whose recent work with Google Street View has won him near-celebrity status among the art school set. Rafman's also been getting attention for his guided tours of "Second Life," where he roams free in the guise of that purveyor of summer beverages.

Rafman, whose tours are in high demand these days, breaks down walls (get it?) while exploring a landscape entirely generated and populated by users eager to live out their idealized lives online.

Perhaps that's why the Kool-Aid Man has often been embraced by a bevy of "Second Life" subcultures. But where does knocking boots with a blue-hued hottie come in?

Remember when former New York governor Eliot Spitzer was busted for romps with a surprisingly hot Ashley Dupré? We do. The 2008 scandal caused Spitzer's ouster and shot Dupré to semi-stardom (including an upcoming Playboy spread).

Kristin Davis, otherwise known as the "Manhattan Madam," was also implicated in the scandal. No stranger to the limelight, she wrote a book about her experiences hooking up New York's rich and famous, was linked to New York Yankee star Alex Rodriguez, and in January, she announced that she had her sights set on the job Eliot Spitzer had to quit: governor of New York.

Asylum correspondent Oliver Noble recently caught up with Davis at a party to celebrate her gubernatorial run. In his report, Noble discovered that Davis is down with legalizing pretty much everything. He also got Davis to reveal which sitting female politicians would net the most cash in the World's Oldest Profession ...

How often do you walk past a crumbling building and never even notice? Actually, that's a pretty lousy question since you never notice.

A better question would be how often do you walk past a crumbling building and never even notice, even though it's been repaired with freaking LEGOs?!

The answer to that, for me at least, is probably pretty often, as it took me two weeks to realize German artist Jan Vormann had come to NYC.

As part of his international Dispatchwork art project, Vormonn patched up some buildings in well-traveled areas (Herald Square, Bryant Park, Times Square, etc.), just as he'd done previously in locales such as Berlin, Amsterdam and Bocchignano, Italy (pictured).

Intrigued by the idea of custom-made LEGO wall patches, it was obvious I had to find them, and using the addresses given on his Web site, I set out in search of some public art.

Toss back a shot of Jameson, dress in green from head to toe -- hell, sport a four-leaf-clover sticker on your forehead while you're at it. Even if your name isn't Conor McDuffy or Patrick O'Brien, there's no excuse not to party like an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day.

In that spirit, check out our rundown of what to do about town in honor of the Irish high holiday. So whether you're singing karaoke, watching the parade or literally crawling from one pub to the next, let the luck of the Irish be with you.

New York–based artist Jeremy Dean has come up with a novel approach to performing some aftermarket modifications on a Hummer H2: he cut it in half.

It's all in the name of art with a message, and what better vehicle to choose than the Hummer, a brand that went from Arnold Schwarzenegger's personal chariot to something too toxic even for China.

We caught up with Dean for the Hummer Cart maiden voyage through NYC to ask, "So ... how and why?"

The 2007 documentary "The King of Kong" famously depicts the struggles faced by Washington resident Steve Wiebe to overcome swaggering classic-gaming legend Billy Mitchell for the all-time highest score on the 1981 Nintendo fave Donkey Kong.

But recently, Hank Chien, an unheralded newcomer to the classic-gaming community, snuck up on both of them and set a new Donkey Kong world-record, according to noted video-game record-keeping authority Twin Galaxies.

Chien's score of 1,061,700 points, accumulated in just two-and-a-half hours, puts him a mere 11,500 points ahead of Mitchell's best recorded score, and 12,600 points ahead of Wiebe's -- essentially a difference of one successful barrel or fireball jump per screen.

Asylum caught up to Chien, a 35-year-old plastic surgeon from Flushing, New York, on what he describes as a "slow day" at the office to talk about the record -- and what's next.

You could never accuse the founders of "Naked Girls Reading ..." of false advertising.

If you attend one of their events, as Asylum did with the recent "Naked Girls Reading Science Fiction" show at New York City's Madame X, you will see naked burlesque performers reading from great works of literature.

Completely nude, save for the odd piece of jewelry, burlesque performers like Nasty Canasta, Miss Tickle and Sapphire Jones regaled the audience with everything from Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" to the children's book "Tomatoes From Mars," which was read by a real-life librarian who was considerably less clothed than usual.

Interestingly enough, performers forewent the usual burlesque cheesecake in favor of some good ol' fashioned geeking out.

Keep reading for more info and of course, pictures of the naked performers.

From the depths of Craigslist, we bring you: the world's worst sex-ritual party. So, right away you know this is a cult thing, which is pretty rad. But even better: You're not allowed to talk! So it'll be like "Eyes Wide Shut" or your 10-year marriage.

Unfortunately, this is probably fake. Who tells you this much about what's going to go down before you even apply for the, um, position? Also, what's this about a "no-sex-for-three-days"-clause? And no prior pregnancies or abortions? Or condoms?

Seriously, for a sex cult these people sure do have a lot of rules. (Although that yellow ribbon thing should be mandatory in all circumstances.)

Asylum is pleased to announce that we'll be sponsoring a monthly comedy show at the Bowery Poetry Club, beginning tonight.

¡SACAPUNTAS! -- which sounds like a dirty sex maneuver, but actually means "pencil sharpener" in Spanish -- is the brainchild of Dan Allen and Ray Devito. You might remember Dan from Asylum's Not-So-Silent Night of Comedy back in December. Their event is New York's only private comedy laboratory where brand-name funny people take the stage to test, sharpen and perfect new material. And with Asylum as the media sponsor, we can guarantee even more laughs (plus some random prizes and photo ops at each show).

The lineup for March 3 includes Rachel Fienstein ("Comedy Central Presents," "Premium Blend"), Seth Herzog ("Late Night With Conan O'Brien," "Chappelle's Show"), Jon Friedman (The Rejection Show, "Late Night With Jimmy Fallon"), Pete Holmes (VH1's "Best Week Ever," "Comedy Central Presents") and Baratunde Thurston from The Onion. We'll also be throwing in original Asylum videos between sets.

The show starts at 8 p.m. For more information or to RSVP, visit the ¡SACAPUNTAS! event page on Facebook.

Cyberstalking an ex-girlfriend can be extremely therapeutic when she's fat, boring or in rehab. The only problem is when she's hot, successful and married ... to another woman.

"I have something I need to tell you," Bethany told me four years ago over the phone.

Nothing positive ever follows that statement. No woman will ever say, "I have something I need to tell you ... I've invented whiskey that cures impotence." And that's not just because women are crappy inventors.

Knowing ill-fate awaited, I met Bethany at the coffee shop. What else could I do? Children realize they're not going to Disneyland when the dentist's office comes into view -- but they still hold tight and hope ice cream will follow.